November 22, 1993
Over the past week, I spent five days with Thomas on Dolores Street and only two nights in my Bird's Nest apartment on Twin Peaks at 215 Twin Peaks Boulevard.

Last night, the city looked enchanting in the rain as we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge on our way home from the College of Marin Art Gallery in Kentfield, where we attended an artist reception for Thomas. Accompanying us were Kathleen and, naturally, Thomas, the artist. Thomas exhibited my favorite painting of his, "Burial of the Monster," which was displayed alongside the works of several other artists for an HIV/AIDS benefit.

I was introduced to Kathleen for the first time, a charming woman with bright red hair. She's quite stunning and works as an actress. Having lived in the Bay Area for 16 years, she has a black male partner from Georgia. Originally from Philadelphia, she has recently become enamored with a 23-year-old German man from Cologne, whom she met at an actor's workshop in Saratoga, New York, and felt an instant attraction to. However, she continues to live with her partner from Georgia, even though her heart is now set elsewhere.

In the meantime, Kathleen is working to pay off her debts and visit the young man in Cologne. She hopes to eventually return to New York due to her passion for theatre and the scarcity of roles for her in San Francisco. She does secure some parts through an agent in Shakespearean plays, commercials, and modeling. To supplement her income, she also works part-time as a waitress.

After the art show, it kept raining and we found ourselves in the Thai House on Upper Market Street where we savored marinated pork with garlic and peppers, beef curry, and that delightful hot and sour chicken soup in coconut milk that I adore. After dinner, I decided to skip the nightcap with Thomas at his place and finally headed home. I caught the 37 Corbett bus up the hill to Twin Peaks and was overjoyed to return to my Bird's Nest apartment view of the city from Twin Peaks.

I just received news that the Artist Reception in Kentfield was a tremendous success. Someone is interested in Thomas's work and wants to purchase "Burial of the Monster."

We spent Saturday night at my place for a change and on Sunday morning we enjoyed Ethiopian coffee, a croissant for him, and a Danish for me at Tasshario in Cole Valley. As I read Herb Caen's column in the Chronicle, he perused excerpts from my unpublished manuscript, which he liked, even if I have grave reservations.

While at the cafe, I encountered several familiar faces, including Peter C., a former temporary colleague at Bank of America; then Jeffrey Stover, my most cherished ex-lover with a ponytail like Thomas, flashed that endearing grin I adore and approached our table to share his new phone number and for me to call him...soon...before I even had a chance to introduce him to Thomas. Post-Jeffrey, I confided in Thomas, mentioning only Jeffrey's attractiveness and his job as a graphic artist at Levi Strauss. I wasn't ready to delve into that time or the subsequent events that ended my prior relationship because of my intense affair with Jeffrey. It was a relief when we bumped into old friends, Robert and Cathy from the California Medical Association, which steered our conversation away from Jeffrey Stover.

November 1993
San Francisco, California
On November 14, my birthday, we drove up Highway 1, overlooking the Pacific Ocean with its most breathtaking views. We enjoyed a picnic in Point Reyes, strolled on the beach, and witnessed a glorious sunset, a spectacle of colors. At one moment, the ocean appeared purple as the sun set behind the silhouette of a mountain range.

Barefoot on the beach, we encountered seals and hermit crabs. The ocean was unusually calm, the weather mild, not windy, cold, or foggy. A birthday kiss seemed inevitable as we stood there, taking in everything.

In Bolinas, we dined in a quaint café, enjoying coffee and juice. Bolinas possesses a unique charm; its beautiful isolation where tourists outnumber locals is somewhere I could see myself living.

That night, as we drove home, many deer crossed the highway, prompting us to drive as carefully as possible. Raccoons too made their way across, and a skunk, standing in our path, seemed to consider spraying our car before turning and scurrying away.

After a tumultuous Saturday night, where I went on a drunken rampage due to frustrations with my family back east and a painting Thomas had done of me, Thomas and I reconciled our differences. The portrait, which I dubbed 'the tormented thing,' had deeply affected me. I left Thomas's studio furiously, bought gin, and at home on Twin Peaks, I got drunk; at one point, I even broke things off with Thomas. I called him, declaring my intent to become a promiscuous slut that I probably already was. Thomas wept, spending a sleepless night.

However, that dreadful night is behind us. All the relatives I hold dear eventually called, which mitigated the awful letters I had written to each of them in my drunken state. I was saddened that Jack didn't acknowledge my birthday this year... our relationship has changed, after all since I discovered Jack was married and never told me until after his seduction. I should detest him, but I can't even forget him or his sensuous fingers. Yet, a cheerful birthday message from Sherri Goodlett on my answering machine brought a smile to my face.  

Sherri and I had lunch today; after work, I met up with Gregg in the Castro at the Pendulum, and we had a few drinks. Then, we ventured to his place where we watched videos, and I spent the night.

Thomas, with his soothing cello-like German voice, confessed his love for me over the phone tonight. I was at a loss for words. Truly, I was rendered speechless as he uttered the 'L' word, and I could hear his breath over the line.

During another call this morning while I was at work, he invited me to be his Open Studio assistant this coming October. I immediately accepted, telling him I didn't need any time to consider; I would be delighted to assist him.

Meanwhile, I found myself constantly thinking about the charming Drew Camen who worked close by me in the office and decided to arrange a lunch date with him., which Drew accepted without hesitation.