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Joined a new gym and met a trainer named Angel — the kind of man who makes you forget why you walked in there in the first place. He’s got a romantic Spanish accent that rolls in warm and unhurried, big brown eyes that linger a second longer than expected, and biceps carved like they were meant to be admired. One session with him and suddenly the treadmill wasn’t the only thing raising my heart rate.
Maybe that’s why the cold feels sharper this week. Without snow, the nights have been colder, and inside the house the heat is warm enough but too humid, too heavy — the kind that makes you crack a window just to breathe. Too much heat makes me sluggish, irritable, restless. But even that discomfort feels like a blessing when I think back to last year in that basement apartment on Decatur Avenue. No matter how high the thermostat was turned, it never got warm. The landlord complained if we opened the windows — “I’m paying for heat,” he’d say — as if that solved anything. His patchwork fixes did nothing, and eventually the rodents came. A nightmare. I almost got a cat, but after Newman, I realized I didn’t want another creature depending on me. A pet is like a child, and I don’t want a child. I only want to take care of myself — and maybe him, if he were here. I would take care of him because I love him. I’ve tried to move on, but the truth is he’s the only one who remains constant. Everyone else feels temporary, passing through like weather. A man fulfills his needs when circumstances require it — so be it when there’s no commitment. It makes me wonder about myself. Am I polygamous, or have I simply not found anyone who stays? He’s the only one I know who would stay and never go — the only one I’d want to stay and never leave. And yet he isn’t here, not physically. He’s 6,843 miles away, living in my heart instead of my home. But he’s with me always, a presence that doesn’t fade. Life goes on in its small, ridiculous ways. Grocery shopping, for instance. Some of us are terrible at it — especially now that you have to bag your own items. This morning at C‑Town, the clerk started bagging for me, but a man behind me seemed in a rush, so I told her it was fine. That meant I wasn’t paying attention, and of course I left something behind: tofu. It’s probably long gone by now. In a place as busy as C‑Town, who remembers tofu? On my way there, half awake but warmed by a message from Saleem — laughing at how cold I said I was last night — I saw workers removing the Peekskill Christmas tree. I stopped to take pictures. The sight made me unexpectedly sad. That tree spent years growing, only to be cut down, decorated, admired, and then dismantled, chopped, and recycled into mulch. It reminded me of Soylent Green — a strange association, but the mood fit. The whole scene felt as dreary as the overcast sky hanging over the city. And somehow all of it — Angel’s accent, the heat in the house, the memory of Newman, the man I love across the world, the forgotten tofu, the dismantled tree — belongs to the same day. The mind doesn’t move in straight lines. It loops, it leaps, it lingers. It remembers what it wants to remember. And today, this is where it wandered.
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Crown Fried Chicken really was tasty — at least, I think it was. After several martinis at Whiskey River, it’s hard to say exactly what my taste buds were doing at that hour. All I know is I found half a box in the fridge this morning, so clearly I enjoyed myself. The atmosphere at CFC is always part of the charm: employees joking with each other, people drifting in and out for takeout, and a few regulars holding court at the small tables on Main Street overlooking Bank Street. I’ve been to the Harlem location before, and now the one here in Peekskill, and honestly? I’d rate it above KFC — and at a better price. From Baltimore to Jersey, Harlem to The Bronx, and all the way up to Peekskill, CFC has earned its reputation for crispy, crave‑worthy chicken. It’s often compared favorably to its competitors, and the menu goes beyond poultry: burgers, subs, milkshakes, and halal options round out the lineup. Saturday night at Whiskey River — packed as usual. Met a crew of Eagle fans, including Vicky, who swore Jalen Hurts had made her a believer. “America’s new team,” she said, eyes lit. I stayed loyal to my 49ers, like Vicky’s mother, who wasn’t there but would’ve had my back. The martinis were flowing, the TVs blaring, and the debate over hot quarterbacks was very much alive. Personal Reflections
Sometimes, when I sit down to write these personal thoughts, I worry they might come across as mean‑spirited. That’s never my intention. I don’t hate anyone—not even the people I have no desire to see again. Some relationships simply run their course, and when they do, the healthiest thing is to let them go without regret. That’s how I try to live: not clinging to the past when there’s nothing left to gain or learn. It surprises me that, even with all these tangled experiences and memories, I’m still able to keep blogging and continue writing Painted People. The chaos of those characters swirls in my mind—especially now as I contemplate Zeno’s hunger, a drive so unlike my own yet endlessly fascinating. This issue has been simmering for a long time, but it resurfaced sharply after my return to Painted People. My discomfort isn’t rooted in dislike for the individual involved; it’s the persistent attempts at manipulation that unsettle me. At first, their motives seem sincere, even warm. But the moment alcohol enters the picture, everything shifts. The cycle resumes, and I find myself listening—again and again—to stories about what’s been taken from them. These tales repeat so often they become almost unbearable. Examples of Manipulative Requests This person frequently expects you to run errands or handle tasks for them—going to the store, buying cigarettes, picking up items they frame as if you need them. In return, you’re offered a couple of dollars, which in 2026 barely covers anything. Then come the more personal favors: fixing their phone, deleting their messages, even cleaning their house. The “payment” is minimal, sometimes literally pressed into your hand or pocket, or balled up and tossed on the floor for you to fetch—as if you were a dog. That’s where the line finally draws itself. These constant demands become exhausting. They wear you down. Recurring Narratives and Emotional Pressure What troubles me further is the repeated boasting about their past achievements. The stories grow grander with every drink: “I was head of my department! They hired me right after high school. The girls were jealous. I was valedictorian. My mother was so proud…” Everyone present knows these stories aren’t true, yet we let them slide. We enable the cycle. We allow the manipulation to continue because challenging it feels like stepping into a storm. Trying to Understand the Behavior In trying to make sense of all this, I did some reading—not to label anyone, but to understand the patterns so I could avoid falling into them again. One description struck me: “When a person tries to buy your time to keep you around longer than you want, it can be a manipulative tactic to monopolize your attention and create a power imbalance.” That resonated deeply. It mirrors what I’ve experienced, though I choose not to name the individual out of respect for their privacy. Impact and Coping I continue to show kindness, but the wasted time has become draining. It leaves me feeling low, especially when I’d rather be anywhere else than stuck in a toxic environment that refuses to change. And somehow, no matter what I do, I end up cast as the villain. Writing this isn’t about revenge or bitterness. It’s about clarity. It’s about reclaiming my time, my peace, and my sense of self. It’s about recognizing when a pattern is unhealthy—and choosing not to step back into it. As the fog lifts… A mystery writer, having slept in after a late night of revision and rumination, emerges between forbidden lines-- coffee in hand, bald head ashy, and half a sentence still clinging to his skin. The hillside whispers secrets. The rooftops remember. And somewhere in the mist, the next chapter waits to be written. It always amuses me that certain dishes—salads especially—taste infinitely better when someone else makes them. Whenever I prepare one at home, I lose interest halfway through; mine always land on the plate a little too dull, a little too dutiful.
A bartender at Whiskey River once shared her secrets for making salads more exciting, the tricks she uses for her own. Maybe one day I’ll try them. For now, I’ll keep admitting the truth: the salads at Whiskey River have a magic my Charles Pearson–style attempts simply do not. A Sunday at Whiskey River Yesterday I found myself back at Whiskey River, where the regulars drifted in like familiar characters entering a scene. The important ones appeared just as I settled into a Caesar salad with shrimp and an old fashioned—so much for “dry January.” Clearly I’m not ready for that particular discipline. If I do decide to stop drinking, I may wait for February. It’s a shorter month, after all. Conversations and Company Talking with the owners, Cynthia and Patrick, is always a pleasure; I enjoy them both as friends and as a couple. Ronan was his usual whirlwind of chatter and energy, somehow aware of everything happening in the room at once. Paul arrived looking almost unrecognizable with his longer, fuller hair—at first glance, he could have passed for a rock star. He greeted me in that deep voice of his, and for the first time I saw him with his family. Meanwhile, the Giants were apparently doing their best to lose to the Cowboys to secure the first draft pick—this according to Dave, another friend and fellow writer, who delivers sports commentary with the same dry wit he brings to his prose. A Quiet Winter Day Sunday carried an odd energy. It didn’t feel like a Sunday at all—more like a Monday disguised in weekend clothes, perhaps because of the break from Thursday’s holiday. The day unfolded quietly, a welcome pause for anyone seeking simplicity in the colder months. Outside, the world had turned into a winter postcard, complete with Canadian Geese who, instead of migrating south, decided to stay put. Watching them made me think about how weather is always a personal experience; each of us feels it differently. And not every writer needs to channel László Krasznahorkai or chase prizes on Earth. Sometimes it’s enough to sit with the snow, the stillness, and the small stories that drift through a winter day. Morning Whispers & Unexpected Gifts Everything feels changed this morning. Silence sits heavy in the air—almost sacred—broken only by the gentle tap of my fingers dancing across the keyboard and, now and then, the distant whoosh of a lone car gliding down the street. Last night’s snowfall laid a fresh, powdery blanket over the old frozen crust—the kind of snow that crunches beneath your boots and makes you feel awake, alive, especially in the heart of Depew Park. The trees stand solemn and majestic, their branches etched against the blue sky, while Lake Mitchell lies sealed beneath winter’s glass, daring anyone bold enough to cross its icy surface rather than take the bridge. A surge of excitement pulses through me—at last, I’ve returned to the Painted People story. My characters, as if summoned by the hush of dawn, arrive with vivid intensity. I lose myself in their company; the world beyond the screen dissolves, and I’m swept into their tales once again. Then, as if scripted by fate, Joaquin appeared. No text, no warning—just his usual, unpredictable entrance. He moves as though the door between us requires no invitation, as if friendship itself is a passport to spontaneity. He brought gifts, thoughtful and perfectly timed: a pair of photographer’s mittens—ingeniously designed so my fingers can peek out for the perfect shot and tuck away for warmth—and a long, charcoal-gray scarf that still carried his scent, a signature as personal as his presence. After he left, I found myself smiling at the scarf as it hung in my wardrobe. Something about that lingering trace was comforting—a quiet gesture that stayed longer than words. This morning, in the hush and the snowfall, stories and friendships swirl together. The ordinary transforms. I feel inspired, reawakened—ready to write, ready to wander. Depew Park & a Frozen Lake MitchellReflecting on Tradition As the New Year approaches, I find myself drawing from cherished memories and inherited rituals to set the stage for a hopeful beginning. Much like the Southern custom of preparing Hoppin’ John—a dish believed to bring good luck—I craft my own version, inspired by my grandparents but laced with a personal twist. Hoppin’ John: A Personal Take My rendition stays true to its roots: black-eyed peas and white rice, symbols of prosperity. But instead of the classic ham hock, I opt for bacon—baked until crisp, then folded into the rice. The peas are stirred in and awakened with two shots of brandy and a dash of paprika, adding depth and a gentle kick. It’s tradition with a wink, a toast, and a little fire. Lentils for Good Fortune Lentils swell as they cook, and so they’ve long symbolized abundance. I keep mine simple—just a few spices, with cumin leading the way. They’re earthy, humble, and quietly hopeful. Collard Greens: Honoring the Season Collard greens aren’t my favorite, but I make them every New Year’s Day to honor tradition. Said to represent the money that may come my way, they’re a ritual of faith more than flavor. This year’s batch was hand-picked from the Peekskill Regeneration Garden—the last that could be gathered before the snow. I slow-cooked them with bacon, pork, garlic, onions, and a generous pinch (or three) of sugar. For the first time, I added figs. They brought a mellow sweetness, a surprise note that made the greens sing. Pork: A Festive Centerpiece Pork is reserved for this time of year in my household—a celebratory indulgence. I prepare a 9.5-pound shoulder, enough to last until spring. After thawing the meat from the freezer, I ready it for baking as New Year’s Eve draws near, aiming to finish before the celebrations begin. I won’t return home until New Year’s Day, after a night spent in New York, so the pork must be ready to welcome me back. Cornbread: The Golden Touch Cornbread is always the final dish I make—the golden punctuation to my New Year’s spread. I prepare it from scratch, never from a Jiffy box (which tastes more like cake than cornbread to me). On New Year’s Day, cornbread is said to usher in wealth and success. Its golden hue symbolizes gold, and its crumbly texture speaks of prosperity. It’s tradition you can taste—warm, golden, and full of promise. Snowfall and Trekking in Peekskill How much snow fell in Peekskill varied depending on where you lived. On average, the area received about 6 inches (15 centimeters), but in some parts—like Fort Hill—the snowfall exceeded that, reaching over 9 inches (22 centimeters) across its many peaks. Trekking was made easier by following in the footsteps of those who had walked there before; the cold air had frozen much of the snow, preventing you from sinking too deeply while climbing uphill or descending. The steps, particularly the deep ones on Paulding, were less challenging thanks to the hardened snow, which made them easier to navigate. Winter’s Sights and Sounds I heard birds and hoped to spot them among the bare trees, but few were visible in the park. The streams and wetlands resembled shallow skating rinks, their surfaces frozen over. The trees stood like sculptures, adding to the stark beauty of the scene. Occasionally, patches of rust-colored leaves and the green of pines and evergreens brought touches of color to the otherwise snow-blanketed woods, while the interplay of light and shadow made everything appear as if rendered in black and white. Personal Reflections This snowfall was the most significant I’ve encountered as an adult, and even after experiencing its magnitude, I find myself longing for more. While Robert Frost famously chose the road less traveled when faced with diverging paths, I made a different decision during this heavy snow. Rather than forging my own way through the deep drifts, I followed where others had already stepped—their footprints offering an easier route through the thick snow. Occasionally, though, curiosity pulled me away from the main path, leading me to explore a frozen stream or a captivating scene that caught my eye and beckoned me closer. A Small Moment As I stood there, I pulled out my pack of cigarettes, hoping for a brief moment of quiet to enjoy one. The wind, however, refused to cooperate, making it impossible to get a flame going. After several failed attempts, my frustration grew, and I realized there were only two cigarettes left in the pack—a remnant from the Christmas party. Accepting that the weather had made the decision for me, I slipped the pack back into my pocket, thinking perhaps it was just as well that I didn’t smoke after all. ❄️ Gallery Below: A Winter in Peekskill From Fort Hill’s snow-draped peaks to the solemn hush of St. Mary’s Cemetery, the storm left its signature across every stone and branch. Abbey Inn stood watch like a cloistered sentinel, while the pond froze over in quiet reverence. Boys built a snowman in a park on Decatur Avenue—laughter echoing through the cold. Inside the park, West and East Redoubt offered stunning views: city rooftops softened by snow, trees sculpted by silence. This gallery captures the storm’s grace—its weight, its wonder, and the paths we followed through it. The world is draped in a peculiar haze after Christmas—one I can’t quite shrug off, no matter how many times I stare out the window at the Peekskill streets waiting for this afternoon’s snow.
This is only the prologue, the first act of that long festival we call Christmas—when we mark not just the birth of Christ, but the slow turning toward Epiphany, that midnight hour on January 6 when the Magi, threads of gold and frankincense and hope, finally reach the manger. In the Catholic calendar, the celebrations will gather themselves on the first Sunday— this season, that’s January 4, 2026—and stretch faithfully and relentlessly until January 11. But my daze is not ecclesiastical; its roots are tangled somewhere deeper, somewhere visceral, wound around the memory of last night’s food and laughter. I spent Christmas with three men—Puerto Rican exiles, each carrying a little New York, a little San Juan, in their swagger and their stories. The night unraveled in easy camaraderie, cocktails stacking up like colored glass in my mind, the smoke from a shared cigarette curling around us. I danced, awkward and unashamed, finding in their company the rare permission to forget past sins and present worries. The walls of the room, for once, held only warmth and forgiveness. Occasionally, the city outside would press its face to the glass, but within, we were untouchable, buoyed by rum and rhythm and the welcome anonymity of friends. Joaquin was there, having stayed through the night—a silent testament to survival. My sleep had been fractured by dreams, ominous and swollen with dread—Joaquin caught in some unseen snare. When he confessed his own brush with violence—a blow to the back, a gash blossoming purple on his temple—the line between dream and waking horror blurred. I wanted to banish it all, the blood and the fear, but instead I buried myself in the party’s noise, grateful for the distraction, for the defiant joy that filled every glass and plate. And the food—my God, the food. The next morning, my tongue still tingled from the spicy gumbo, my stomach ached with happiness and regret. Somehow, that simple, shared meal felt like an act of faith—proof that, at least for one night, we could be together, alive and unafraid, savoring what the season offered before the world began again. ..Prelude
Some days arrive dressed in music. Today belonged to Mozart—Concerto No. 21, Andante. Not the stripped‑down piano version, but the full orchestration, swelling and receding like the snow outside. Melodrama suits me. The strings rise, the winds sigh, and the flakes descend—big, soft, puffy, dissolving on my tongue like secrets I shouldn’t tell. The Joy of Wintry Weather Snow makes me happy in ways that feel almost illicit. I spoke with my best friend far away, his voice carried across the distance like a warm refrain. He loves the snow as much as I love him. Long‑distance is not always a curse; sometimes it purifies, keeps you centered, unless you let yourself wander into shadows. But shadows are part of the rhythm, aren’t they? Snowfall and Pure Delight Looking up, I saw the sky surrender—snow falling hard, like cats and dogs, like confessions. My heaven is cold, painted white instead of blue. More beautiful than any man, more stunning than desire itself. The world outside transformed into a Great White Out, a stage set for memory and noir. Small Moments in Town Morning brought a meeting with a girl from Fishkill, working on finances I prefer to ignore. I prayed for her safe return to Dutchess County. I walked her to her car, snow still falling, and realized too late I could have told her to park in the Public Garage—free for the holidays, four hours at no cost. Instead, she fed a meter on Main Street. Later, I greeted Salah too eagerly and nearly sent him sliding on the ice. I caught him before either of us fell. Monkee was shoveling snow, New York Gold—$100 an hour if you’re willing to break your back. Boys should try it. Better than fleeting hustles. Yet nothing lasts. Sometimes all you need is a cigarette to forget the snow, the slip, the silence. The Magic of Snow I love the snow. Sometimes I wish I were the snow—falling, pure, before I melt away. Warmth and Memories Hot chocolate in hand, I ran into my buddy, Leo, from Ecuador. I never told him about the mask I bought from a local Ecuadorian artist, now hanging on my wall. As I sipped hot chocolate, he suggested adding rum in the chocolate. I laughed, but he was serious. So, I told him I would try it next time…perhaps even with him. He confessed his sadness—no family here, holidays heavy with absence, weighted like snow that never melts. I told him soberly we were family here, one community, one solidarity. He understood my feelings, yet for him, the experience was different. I found myself thinking back to my own childhood Christmases, spent with my brothers as we waited in anticipation for morning to arrive on the longest night of the year—Christmas Eve. Back then, my younger brothers always amused me, so quick to follow every command Charles gave them. Even when Charles issued directions that he knew were misguided or certain to lead to trouble, both of them would obey without question...Like that time I was feeling rebellious and stole Grandpa's pickup after he told me no. I found a spare key and roped my two brothers into a wild adventure through the backwoods of South Carolina. As scared as they were, I still don’t know why, but they had my back the whole way. Times have changed. My brothers no longer follow blindly, and I am grateful for the independence that comes with growing older. Family and Friendship Family above all. I understood his longing. Peekskill’s rugged men, its streets, its snow—they are mine now. At Peekskill Coffee, the girl at the counter remembered me, remembered my order. I left feeling good, walking up North Division Street through the snow, catching flakes on my tongue, claiming the town as my own. Shadows and Boundaries Our town has become my own, its boundaries drawn, long-held questions finally answered. In a recent conversation, I told him about a dream where he was no longer alive. He responded with a story of his own—a palm reader once told him he would die at thirty-eight, now that he is on the verge of turning thirty-eight next April. It sounded ridiculous, but somehow that prediction stuck with him, and because he shared it, it lingered in my thoughts too. Shadows have a way of traveling like that, quietly settling into the corners of our minds. I expect nothing from him—how could I, when he resents the person who lives in my heart, the one who remains unseen in cyberspace and untouched in the physical world. Perhaps I am only a single tree and not the entire forest, but at least I understand what lies within his heart. Some things simply cannot be changed. |
AuthorCHARLES PEARSON Archives
January 2026
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