​Reflections on Life and Changes

The Church of Assumption, Peekskill, NY

The sky is overcast, devoid of sunshine, casting a brooding spell upon the world. Yet, I find myself in a contrasting mood—perhaps I should be brooding too, given that my rent is set to increase by 7% in July, a burden that grows heavier with each passing year.

There are moments when I toy with the idea of marriage, recalling past relationships in San Francisco, as a potential solution—two incomes might alleviate the financial strain. But was I truly happy in those relationships? No. Despite the reduced expenses and the surplus of disposable income, happiness eluded me. I yearned to embrace life fully, and such conventional relationships stifled that desire. Hence, that kind of bond is not destined for me.

One must remain faithful to oneself.

Reflecting on my journey, I realize how far I have come since this time last year. I am blessed in many ways. This morning, I noticed the quarters I had left at Mary’s feet on Union Street were still there—a small yet poignant reminder of continuity amidst change. After my run, stretch, and walk, I paused at The Church of Assumption to light a candle and offer a prayer, grounding myself spiritually before heading home to immerse myself in work.

Today, a boy I can't honestly say I love came back. He had been visibly struggling, his frame as slender as a reed. Yet, for now, things are looking up for us, a glimmer of hope in the midst of life's turbulence because after all he is a friend.